Chance Cards

Just like it says on the tin — I’ve got chance cards for the first five levels of my midwife career done. (Only for the females, so far — I think I’m going to add an apothecary career as the male half of the career. So it’ll be a while before that gets done.)

Do you want to see? Of course you do. Click on the link to read more!

Note: All of the “$Me’s” are places where the Sim’s name would be inserted.

Level 1 (Hand-Holder)

It’s hard being the only level-headed person in the room. $Me has already told the father-to-be to start boiling water, told the mother-to-be to keep breathing and keep holding $Me’s hand, and told the mother-in-law to sit down and shut up. And the midwife still isn’t here yet. Suddenly, the mother-to-be looks at $Me. “The baby! It’s coming! I need to push!” The mother-in-law looks up. “No! No, you can’t! Not until the midwife comes!” The mother-to-be looks at $Me. What’s a poor Sim to say?

Option A: PUSH!!

Option B: Just keep breathing!

Option A Good

If the woman’s body says it’s time to push, then it’s time to push, gosh darn it! “Push!” says $Me and prepares to play catcher. Half an hour later, it’s all over – and an hour later, the midwife walks in to find the baby cleaned up and having her first feed, the mother blissful, the father stunned but happy and the mother-in-law still passed out on the floor. The midwife is quite impressed with $Me’s handling of the situation, and tells her so. $Me gains two logic points!*

Option A Bad

“Push!” says $Me. “No, no, don’t push!” cries the mother-in-law. $Me tries to talk some sense into the mother-in-law, but mothers-in-law are not sensible creatures. While they argue, the mother-to-be keeps pushing. Suddenly $Me turns around and sees the baby crowning! Unfortunately, so does the mother-in-law – and it’s onto the floor, face-first, that the mother-in-law goes. In her haste to get to the mother-to-be, $Me trips over the mother-in-law. The midwife walks in to find them both sprawled out onto the ground. “Now, what’s all this?” she says, and swiftly puts everything to rights. Luckily, both mother and baby are fine at the end of the day – unluckily, the mother-in-law comes to all too soon and tells her story to her son. Needless to say, he isn’t too impressed at $Me’s handling of the situation. $Me loses a day’s pay!

Option B Good

“Now, wait just a minute!” says $Me. “Babies aren’t in any rush to get here. You just hold on for fifteen more minutes, and if the midwife hasn’t gotten here by then, then we’ll see about pushing.” The mother-in-law nods sagely and $Me keeps the mother-to-be calm. Luckily, the midwife arrives in five minutes and takes everything in hand. Both mother and baby are fine by the end of the day, and what’s better, the mother-in-law is impressed and tells her son as much. When the father presses the customary gift into $Me’s hand, there’s a little something extra inside – to the tune of $200!

Option B Bad

$Me panics. The mother-to-be can’t start pushing yet! The midwife isn’t here! She frantically tries to calm the mother-to-be down, but it’s just no use – the mother-to-be is in a panic, and that isn’t good for her or the baby. But just when $Me is about to reconsider her advice, the mother-in-law adds in her shrill insistence that the mother-to-be wait. “Oh, shut up, you old bat! What do you know about it?” $Me shouts. Unfortunately, the midwife chooses just this moment to walk through the door – the father-to-be on her heels. The father-to-be hears everything. “Don’t you talk to my mother like that! Get out of here!” $Me is fired!

Level 2 (Village Nurse)

Mistress Carpenter**, the wealthy Master Carpenter’s wife, has been having a difficult time with her pregnancy, so Master Carpenter has hired $Me to watch over her at nights. $Me has just gotten Mistress Carpenter sleeping peacefully when she notices a dark stain spreading across the blankets. It’s not blood, she can tell that much, but beyond that … it could be an accident; pregnant women’s bladders are notoriously small. Or it could be Mistress Carpenter’s water breaking. $Me sits, paralyzed. She has two choices: rouse the household, or clean up the mess on the quiet and hope for the best.

Option A: Rouse the household

Option B: Clean up the mess

Option A Good

$Me wasn’t hired as a laundress! She runs quickly to the maids’ bedroom. “Quick! Wake up! Mistress Carpenter is in labor!” She sends one maid running for the midwife, the other she sets to boiling water and preparing bed sheets. Lastly, she wakes Master Carpenter. By the time the midwife arrives, $Me has everyone organized, and Mistress Carpenter is awake and can confirm that yes, she is in labor. $Me stays to assist the midwife, and soon enough Master Carpenter is getting the whole household uproariously drunk in celebration of the birth of a son. During the festivities, the midwife confides to $Me that she’s in search of a new apprentice, and would like $Me like the post? $Me is promoted!

Option A Bad

$Me panics, no doubt about it. She starts shrieking like a banshee, “Mistress Carpenter is in labor! Mistress Carpenter is in labor!” Soon enough the whole household is awake, all right, and piled in the door to Mistress Carpenter’s bedroom. Once everyone is able to stop squawking, Mistress Carpenter speaks up, “I’m sorry,” she says, her cheeks burning, “but I’m not in labor.” Everyone is grumpy at being awakened, Mistress Carpenter is humiliated, and Master Carpenter isn’t too happy about either. When $Me leaves in the morning, he tells her not to bother coming back in the evening. $Me is demoted to Hand-Holder.

Option B Good

Mistress Carpenter may be ill and tired, but there’s no way any woman could sleep through labor. It takes no time at all for $Me to strip the bed of the soiled sheets and blankets and get Mistress Carpenter cleaned up – all without waking Mistress Carpenter up! When morning comes and Mistress Carpenter wakes up to find herself in a new nightgown and covered by new clean sheets, she asks $Me what happened and is grateful that $Me was able to handle the situation so discreetly. $Me gains two cleaning points, and Mistress Carpenter gives her a tip of $500!

Option B Bad

$Me has just managed to wrestle Mistress Carpenter out of her nightgown when the woman wakes up and demands to know what $Me thinks she is doing. “You had an accident …” $Me starts to say, but Mistress Carpenter looks at her as if she has two heads. “An accident? I’m in LABOR!” That shout is enough to wake up the whole household, who pile in the doorway to see Mistress Carpenter stark naked in her bed! $Me loses one charisma point for her maladroit handling of all involved.

Level 3 (Midwife’s Apprentice)

It’s a quiet day at the home of the midwife, Goodwife Diarn***. $Me is using the opportunity to make up a few extra bottles of Goodwife Diarn’s Patented Painkilling Potion. As she chops herbs and stirs and boils water, Goodwife Diarn ties her green scarf over her head. “I’m just going to the market, be back in a bit!” $Me continues chopping and stirring and boiling, until suddenly—she’s stuck. She thinks the poppy straw are added next, but she can’t be sure – should she add them now, or wait for Goodwife Diarn to come back and ask?

Option A: Poppies!

Option B: Wait and ask

Option A Good

The poppy straw has to be added now, $Me is sure of it. She cuts up the straw and adds them to the mixture, and is rewarded by seeing the potion turn a faint green color, exactly as Goodwife Diarn’s recipe prescribes. She continues with the rest of the potion, and when Goodwife Diarn returns from the market with her shopping done, she finds $Me pouring the finished potion into little glass bottles, stoppered and clearly labeled. Goodwife Diarn surveys $Me’s handiwork with her hands on her hips. “You know, I woke up this morning with a headache in the front of my head – know what that means?” $Me shakes her head. “It means you’re ready to be my assistant, sooner than I ever expected you would be.” $Me is promoted!

Option A Bad

Crossing her fingers, $Me throws in the poppy straw. Everything seems to be going well at first, and as she works, $Me grows happier … and happier … and happier … When Goodwife Diarn returns from the market, she finds $Me sitting in the corner of the stillroom, giggling like a mad child, and the potion boiling over. “Front-left headache! Should have known!” Goodwife Diarn shakes her head. Once $Me comes down to earth, she has to clean up the mess and endure a tongue-lashing from Goodwife Diarn. $Me loses a logic skill point and a cooking skill point.

Option B Good

$Me is only an apprentice – it’s her job to pause and wait to ask questions. So she takes the pot off the stove to keep it from boiling over and continues to chop up different ingredients. When Goodwife Diarn returns, $Me finds out that the poppy straw doesn’t go in next. Goodwife Diarn goes over the recipe with $Me again, and by the end, $Me’s really got it. $Me gains two cooking skill points!

Option B Bad

$Me decides to wait, and while she’s waiting, she flips through the one hallowed obstetrical text Goodwife Diarn keeps in the cottage. Hours pass while $Me reads of breech births, caesarians, and the different designs of birthing stools. So many hours pass, in fact, that $Me hears Goodwife Diarn flirting with her husband (at least, $Me thinks it’s flirting) as she comes up the walk. “The potion!” $Me thinks, and runs into the stillroom to find that the potion has boiled over. The potion is ruined, and $Me loses a cooking skill point for ruining it, and a logic skill point for neglecting to take such an obvious precaution as taking the pot off the stove.

Level Four (Midwife’s Assistant)

“Now, I never been real good with my grammar, but when I said I want that water boiled, I mean boiled, not warmed, what!” And with that Mistress Hogge**** sends the father-to-be out of the room with his insufficiently heated pot of water. $Me is timing the space between the mother-to-be’s contractions, but Joan, Mistress Hogge’s apprentice, tugs $Me’s sleeve. “$Me,” she whispers, “why does Mistress Hogge always tell the husbands to boil water?” $Me thinks it’s only to keep the fathers-to-be busy, but she’s not sure. Should she just give the apprentice that explanation, or ask Mistress Hogge why?

Option A: To keep the husbands busy!

Option B: Ask Mistress Hogge

Option A Good

“It’s to keep the husbands busy,” $Me whispers to Joan and goes back to timing the contractions. “Is it?” asks the mother-to-be. “Is what?” asks Mistress Hogge, and $Me is forced to explain. “Oh, pish! Of course it is!” she says. “You can’t imagine that the water serves a purpose, now, can you? Besides, if this goes on long enough, I’ll tell him to chop up some vegetables and throw them in, and we’ll all have soup.” The women all laugh before returning to the task at hand, and $Me gains two logic points for her successful deduction.

Option A Bad

“To keep the husbands busy, of course!” $Me replies to Joan – unfortunately a little too loudly, for Mistress Hogge hears. “What’s meant to keep the husbands busy?” $Me explains, grinning at her own cleverness. Mistress Hogge is not so amused. “I was afraid you were getting too big for your britches – I think you need to spend more time as an apprentice. Joan here knows enough to ask when she has a question – you don’t even know that.” $Me is demoted!

Option B Good

$Me really truly does not know, so she poses the question to Mistress Hogge. Mistress Hogge blinks, surprised. “Why, it’s to clean our instruments in! Cleaning the instruments in boiling water makes it less likely that either Mama or baby will get sick – see, I told you we’d take good care of you,” Mistress Hogge adds to the mother-to-be. Meanwhile, $Me gains a cleaning point for what she’s learned, and a logic point for keeping her mouth shut when she didn’t know what she was saying.

Option B Bad

$Me is pretty sure that it’s to keep the fathers-to-be busy, but better safe than sorry, right? “Mistress Hogge, why do you have the fathers-to-be boil water? Is it to clean our instruments, or …” “Oh, pish!” Mistress Hogge laughs. “It’s only to keep them busy!” So much for better safe than sorry. $Me loses two charisma points for not speaking out when she knew the answer.

Level 5 (Midwife)

$Me’s potions aren’t working as well as she would like them to work, and she’s searching for some way to improve them. The wise woman from the next village mentioned last market day that adding a bit of white willow bark has always given her potions a nice extra kick. Should $Me take her advice, or put skullcap tincture in instead, like her mother always told her?

Option A: White willow bark

Option B: Skullcap tincture

Option A Good

The wise woman from the next village is a true professional, so $Me decides to take her advice, and she takes the potion with her on her next call. It’s a particularly difficult birth, and the mother-to-be has a particularly low pain tolerance, but one dose of $Me’s painkiller (now with white willow bark!) and the mother-to-be is much more comfortable and far better able to focus. The birth is concluded in record time, leaving the whole family happy. Best of all, the new mother tells all her friends about $Me’s painkiller, and they all want to try it out. $Me can barely keep up with the demand, and makes a tidy $2000 from selling off her first batch.

Option A Bad

The wise woman can’t be wrong, can she? $Me adds the white willow bark in. But she either added too much, or the wise woman meant to sabotage her, for while the potion takes the edge off for about a minute, it also afflicted the mother-to-be with stomach cramps and nausea. When $Me returns home, she tosses out the rest of the batch. Between time, labor and ingredients, this whole failed escapade costs $Me $500.

Option B Good

$Me doesn’t trust that wise woman – right now, she’s the only one in three villages, and it’s not within her interest to help out potential competitors. So $Me goes with her mother’s advice. It’s a resounding success – not only does every woman who gets that potion have an easier labor, but after finding out that the potion also relieves certain other feminine difficulties, every woman in the village wants a bottle on her shelf – “just in case.” Soon, $Me finds herself making potions full-time. $Me is promoted to Wise Woman!

Option B Bad

That wise woman is a regular old witch – she can’t have been up to any good when she let it slip about the white willow bark. $Me puts in the skullcap tincture instead. But something goes wrong. Instead of getting relief, the first mother-to-be to try $Me’s potion gets diarrhea! To make matters worse, the father-to-be is not at all pleased to learn that his wife has been used as a guinea pig. He refuses to give $Me her fee. $Me loses a day’s pay and a cooking point.

*For the teen/elder career track, I’m going to change the reward to a promotion.

**Yes, Leiela, this is based on Grimstead. It’s Mistress Jonas Carpenter, Jr., in case you’re wondering “Which Mistress Carpenter?” I figure he’s the only Master Carpenter who could hire a round-the-clock nurse. 😉 But if you don’t like it, I’ll change it.

***Yes, Van, this chance card is based on Arydath! If you don’t like it, don’t worry, I’ll change it. 🙂

****Yes, Lothere (on the off-chance you’re reading this), this is based on Gunnie! Again, if you don’t like it, I’ll change it.

All of the above are attempts to pay homage, by the way, not steal characters/ideas/etc. But like I said — if you don’t like it, I’ll change it, no problem. 🙂

Anyway. What do you all think? As you can see, I went for a mix of silly and serious.

Hope you like them!

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9 thoughts on “Chance Cards

  1. Ooooh, I love these! 🙂 And I am flattered by the homage 😀

    I can’t wait until you release this career. I’ll definitely be making a few of the women in the secret RKC I actually play on occasion enter the midwife track 🙂

  2. These are great ! This career will be good! I believe there will be more chance cards ?
    (Perhaps some based in Albion)
    Can’t wait to see the male track

    • There are definitely going to be more chance cards. Most of the Maxis base game careers have one chance card per level, or rather two, one for males and one for females. (Usually the same chance card with the pronouns switched, because in Maxis Land there is no gender discrimation. Woot!) I still need to write up the chance cards for levels 6-10.

      And don’t worry, some Albion characters will make an appearance in the chance cards. I’ve already decided that I’m going to name names in the Level 7 card. 😉 And I’m going to see if I can work Kata or some other character into one of the cards.

      The male track is coming, I promise. I just need to think of titles, descriptions, and chance cards that make sense with what I’ve already lined up for the female half of the career track. 🙂

      • I forgot to say ! Very hilarious the one of the poppies !! And skullcap tincture!? No ideia… (I already started to translate this ones, and forgot to ask your permission, because when this career gets out I want to enjoy it full in my language).

        • I figure if you’re playing around with poppy anything, somebody, somehow, has to get high. It’s a moral imperative. 😉

          Skullcap tincture, as it so happens, I found out about last night as I wrote up these chance cards! I learned about the white willow bark, too. And I’ll probably learn a few more things before I’m done!

          Translating? CRAP! I didn’t even think about translations! You translate whatever you want into any language you want! 😉 And that goes to whoever else is reading this. Me, the language I’ve spent the most time learning is a dead one (Latin), so I will be no help on that front. Translate away and THANK YOU! :mrgreen:

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