This Old Hovel

Good evening, everyone, and welcome to this month’s episode of This Old Hovel, the show that shows you exactly how much squalor your fellow citizens live in! I’m Morgaine, your host. This month we’ll be touring the newly-built home of Simon Chevaux. Wave to the camera, Simon!

“Um … hi? What’s a camera?”

Isn’t he funny, folks?

Anyway, Simon is a Sagittarius Pleasure Sim, 3/3/8/6/5, who enjoys dream dates downtown, getting drinks from the bar, playing on couches and lounging around in his pajamas. Unfortunately this house wasn’t built with Simon’s specific needs in mind, but was rather built in response to a challenge posted at the RKC Yahoo Group.

“Wait … what do you mean it wasn’t built for me? Why’d you move me into it if it wasn’t built for me?!”

Because the price was right and you needed a house?

“The price was right?”

The challenge limited the budget to 16,000 simoleons — that’s sixteen silvers to you.

“But I get twenty when I move out!”

Think of the rest as … seed money.

“Seed money? You’re going to make me farm, too?”

Or you could think of it as matchmaker-money.

“Now that’s more like it!”

Yeah, I thought go for that … anyway, let’s start the tour. We’ll begin with a front view of Simon’s humble abode.

“Humble is right … hey, how’d I get over here?”

Um … pictures were not taken in the order in which they appear?

“Oh. Ok. So where am I really?”

Good question. Anyway, moving on to more house-y stuff. As you can tell, the house has two stories, three if you count the basement. It’s on a 3×2 lot, which means there’s plenty of room to expand if and when your family grows. There’s also a garden area, and I marked a place for a possible driveway with dirt terrain paint. Yeah, yeah, challenge rules say that peasants can’t have cars, but after a while I just get sick of the want-panel spam and give them a horse-car I downloaded from MTS2.

“I understood about one word in five of that.”

You’re not supposed to understand more … anyway, let’s move on to the inside, shall we? Simon, will you lead the way?

“I guess.”

“Gah! This place is–”

Amazing? Phenomenal? Better than you dared to dream?

“A DUMP!”

… Oh. Well, you are a peasant, Simon, you’re supposed to be living in squalor. Besides, 16,000 budget = not a lot to spend on amenities.

“Maybe, but soon I’ll have plenty of money from my job as–”

SHHH!! Simon! No giving away plot details!

“But–”

No buts!

We’re going to switch into Simon-view here for a minute, just so you can get a better look at the main living space. If this was a modern home, it’d be called an “open floor plan.” Since it’s a peasant hovel, it’s called “we can’t afford to build extra walls.”

“And why would you bother? Easier to get to everything this way!”

Good point. Anyway, what you’re looking at now is the chess set, easel, and on the right you can see just a little bit of the dining table and refridgerator.

“The what?”

Larder to you. I suppose I should mention now that this house comes equipped with skill-builders for everything except body. I didn’t include a bench press because I play with Apartment Life, which came with jump-roping. Between that and yoga, you don’t actually need any of the exercise equipment the game provides.

I should also mention that I did put in some ceilings, but only where I thought they would “make sense” — i.e. under the room on the second story. In the main room, which only has the roof above it, I imagined that one would be able to see straight into the rafters and the roof, so I didn’t put in a ceiling.

“Lazy.”

Shut up.

Here’s a closer look at the study nook, i.e. the area with the bookshelf and the couch.

“Like I’m going to spend a lot of time here.”

You do realize that you can make out on this couch, don’t you?

“On second thought …”

Yeah, I thought you’d be thinking again. Let’s give you X-ray vision for a moment so our viewers can see the bathroom.

“Hey, this is actually kind of nice! This is the kind of bathroom lords get!”

Um … yeah. The medieval bathroom set I got from Sims Design Avenue is the cheapest one I have (that I know where it comes from, that is). So you lucked out here, Simon.

“Indeed I did.”

Now let’s move on to an area Simon will find far more interesting, the master bedroom … how are you liking that bed, Simon?

“Well, it could be comfier, but at least it’s a double bed … wait, what is THAT?!”

What’s what?

“THAT!”

*sigh* We’ll switch to Simon-view so we can see better … so what are you looking at, Simon? Your muddy boots making a mess all over the clean bedspread?

“No, THAT!”

You mean the Moses Basket with Stand by HystericalParoxysm at MTS?

“Is that the thing that looks like a crib?”

Yes.

“Then THAT! What is it doing here?”

Well … couple of reasons, really. The first is that the challenge states that the house had to be built for five sims, and they could be any age. I chose the Moses Basket because it would serve as an infant bed. Plus it’s really cute and fits with the theme.

“Please tell me that those are your only reasons.”

No … I also included it because you’d need it eventually.

“Excuse me! Pleasure Sim here! You think I want kids?”

You think I care?

“… You are no fun.”

Relax, you’ve got a few rounds before your wife-to-be grows up. I’m not foisting rugrats on you right away.

“Good.”

Unless you get a prostitute pregnant. Then I might.

Simon: *gulp*

Anyway, let’s go upstairs, shall we? We’ll use Marvine’s Ladder with Custom Animations, because it fits the theme (also available at MTS).

“Are you checking out my butt?”

No! I’m showing you climbing the ladder!

“You can barely see the ladder!”

But I can see YOU climbing it.

“See. You are checking me out.”

Ever hear of Run with Scissors, Simon?

“I’ll just mosey on upstairs.”

You do that.

“Huh. Well, this isn’t so bad. But I guess I won’t be spending a lot of time up here, will I?”

Probably not. This is really hear because of the rules of the challenge.

“More beds for those five Sims?”

Exactly. Though there is a wardrobe to your right that you might have to use from time to time.

“Well, what do you know! There is!”

Ready to go back down now?

“Yeah, I guess.”

Awesome. Next up is the garden area.

There isn’t really a lot here … just twelve plots (2 for each fruit or veggie) and one tree. An orange tree, to be precise. I would have liked to include one of each, but there wasn’t room in the budget. But look, Simon’s already making nice with the tree!

“Orange tree, this house is for the birds … grimy interior, cheap beds, no girlfriend, and the host says I’m going to have to get married some–”

SIMON!

“Um–I mean, gee, Mr. Tree, have you seen all the pretty birds that fly over this lot? I hope the creator lets me spend lots and lots of time birdwatching so I can enjoy them all …”

Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge … anyway, I see the welcome wagon coming around the corner, I’ll leave you to socialize.

“That I can handle.”

Now while Simon satifies that perpetual “Meet Someone New” want, I’ll hitch a ride on some of those passing birds Simon was so enamoured of to show you a more complete view of the house. We’ll start with the top floor.

And now the main floor.

And finally the basement.

As you can see, there isn’t really even anything in the basement … I simply included the hollowed-out foundation for storage purposes. To be honest, I don’t even think I replaced the inside of the foundation with walls … I think I wanted to but it was too expensive. This would be a good place to stash those career aspiration rewards, plus anything else that you wanted down here. You can’t, of course, put anything on these walls, but that’s easily fixed with moveobjects on.

I’ll even throw in a view of the backyard, because I’m a nice person like that …

Anyway, that’s all, folks! Hope you enjoyed this month’s episode of This Old Hovel. The hovel in question will be up later this evening at the Royal Kingdom Challenge Yahoo Group. I imagine that you’d need a membership to download, but if you’re a fan of the RKC, you should be a member in any case. 😉

Hope you enjoyed this look at Simon’s home. Tune in next time for–SIMON!

“What?”

She’s MARRIED.

“She started it!”

She’s also old enough to be your mother!

“Doesn’t look it! … You were saying, Helena?”

*sigh* Pleasure Sims. Almost as bad as Romance Sims, I’m tellin’ ya.

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6 thoughts on “This Old Hovel

  1. Nothing is right! You can’t even put in all three fruit trees for that! And forget landscaping (not that landscaping is my forte anyway).

    And thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it and got a few laughs. We can all use some of those. 😉

  2. Your sims are very good at backtalking to you, but I find you’re equally good at threatening them when you want to. Great start, you done good, kid. Lol 😉

  3. Pingback: Funny Pics: 4/1/10 « The Chronicles of Albion

  4. *Grin* love it! This old hovel… great name for a show. It’s cool to see the behind the scenes goings-on and get a bit of detail about how you are actually playing the game and managing to stick to the rules. I never ended up actually playing the Royal Kingdom Challenge with Mhalwae, though I have another neighbourhood I played for a while. I’m not very good at sticking to challenges for very long 🙂

  5. I have a feeling I’d be better at the whole “challenge” aspect if I weren’t doing the storytelling part. First of all I have to slow time down, secondly sometimes you just need to use Maxmotives to get your Sims to behave for photoshoots.

    But I do try to keep the cheating down! I swear!

    I’m glad you liked the post, though! This was probably one of the most fun ones I’ve ever done. 😆 I need to do another house challenge/tour someday.

    Especially since (IMHO) I’ve improved so much since I built this one! I mean, eek!

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